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Hey, just stay off the sidewalks

February 16, 2011

By Staff Reporter

By Eileen Murphy

Attention, people of Dublin, Dundalk, and anywhere else Andrea Corr spends her time: Look both ways, say a prayer and then run like your butt’s on fire when crossing the street. Trust us on this.

The sultry singer, who tools around in a swanky Mercedes Benz CLK 200, has a provisional driver’s license. The car sports a big red "L" on the window, which is supposed to stand for "learner," but in this case, a more accurate interpretation would be "Look out!"

Corr admits that she’s not the M’ West when it comes to navigating the open road.

"I’ve been stopped in the car by the police a few times," she revealed. "That’s been for not seeing people in my way."

So far, Andrea’s managed to avoid whacking into any hapless fellow citizens.

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"I’ve never run anyone over," she said with a touch of pride. "But I’ve sometimes not seen pedestrians or bikers."

Call us crazy, but isn’t the windshield made of clear – as in see-through – glass? Well, yes, but give the kid a break. She gets a little excitable behind the wheel.

"I get a bit nervous," she said. "I’m still a learner driver."

Other drivers agree that Corr has a ways to go before she’s – dare we say it? – up to speed when it comes to driving.

"She’s always jamming on her brakes," said one disgruntled observer. But we’re sure that’s only when she’s around one of those pesky pedestrians.

Of course, we hope that whatever poor sod is stuck with the task of administering this woman’s road test never finds out that her family nickname is "Danger Dizzy." But she swears it has nothing to do with her driving skills (or lack thereof).

"I lose things all the time," she said. Riiight.

When Ro says nothing at all . . .

You know, you can tell when someone’s made it really big in Ireland when they start complaining that everyone’s jealous of them. In fact, when it comes to some celebrities, we’d wager that half their daily calories come from biting the hands that feed them.

Take Ronan Keating, for instance. The Boyzone frontman-turned-solo artist-turned-manager gave an interview with the British music magazine Q, in which he dubbed his homeland "sad," "small" and "insular." And that’s just the nice stuff.

"There’s a lot of grudges in Ireland," huffed Ronan. "There’s a famous story Bono once told: American guy, driving around, sees this mansion on the hill. ‘Someday,’ he says, ‘I’ll have that house.’ Irish guy sees the same mansion. ‘Someday,’ he says, ‘I’ll get that bastard.’ That’s the Irish attitude."

Now, call us picky, but we don’t think Bono actually came up with that story (though if he did, a lot of pundits owe him serious royalties).

Admittedly, Keating was frothing at the mouth because Dublin’s satirical magazine, The Phoenix, had taken a pot shot at him. The mag raised questions about Keating’s vow to launch three breast cancer screening ambulances in memory of his mother, Marie, who died of the disease in 1998. Sources say that the ambulances are scheduled to be on the road in September.

Questioning the singer’s commitment to the project seems rather mean, to us, but people don’t buy the Phoenix to read nice stuff about celebrities. Still, Ronan didn’t help himself by launching into a tirade that’s sure to haunt him for a while.

For instance, he can’t stop bragging about hanging out with his pop star buddies, and how much they admire him.

"I remember at a very early stage meeting Bono, Larry and The Edge and them saying, ‘Fair play to yous, what you’re doing for pop music in Ireland is wonderful,’" he told the interviewer proudly. He also bragged that U2 are big fans of Boyzone. "They knew our songs, the charts and what we were up to," he gushed. "It was brilliant!"

Ronan, like the rest of his Boyzone mates, is busy pursuing a solo career and getting ready for the birth of his second child with his wife, Irish model Yvonne Connolly. He scored a hit in the U.S. with "When You Say Nothing At All," which made it onto the soundtrack for the hit film "Notting Hill." He’s also devoting time to managing the new Irish pop phenomenon Westlife, or, as we like to call them, "Boyzone: the story continues."

Elsewhere in the article, Keating reveals that he now hates the name Boyzone.

"[Rhymes with spit] name," he huffed cryptically. "Not just the ‘Boy," not just the ‘Zone,’ but the amalgamation of the two." Though he won’t confirm reports that Boyzone is dead and buried, he does refer to the band in the past tense, so draw your own conclusions.

Irish Family fest lineup

We usually can’t stop gossiping long enough to issue public service announcements, but we’re in the mood to test our willpower (and we think you’ll like this one. Here goes . . .

Believe it or not, this year marks the sixth time that the New York Irish Family Festival comes to town. The popular fest will take place on Saturday and Sunday, Aug. 19-20, at Belmont Race Track in Elmont, N.Y.

Performers will include legendary Irish comedian Hal Roach, famous for his impeccable timing and his instructions to "Write it down!" when he delivers an especially funny punchline. Also on hand will be local faves Black 47, Andy Cooney, Gerry Finlay and the Cara Band, Paddy Holmes, the Jeff Conlon Band, Paddy Noonan, Morning Star, Sr. Mary Beata, Susan Gillespie, Richie O’Shea, Eamon O’Rourke, Six Mile Bridge, The McCabes and the NYCPD Pipers. There will be a Feis on Sunday at 9 a.m., and a special Mass for peace and justice will be celebrated at 11.

One of the highlights of the annual event is the Eamonn Coughlan 5K Classic, a race which attracts more than 200 runners and features an impressive list of cash prizes and Irish porcelain. The race will take place at 10 a.m. sharp on Sunday morning. For more details about the race or the festival, call (212) 686-1210.

And that concludes the test of our emergency gossip system. This was only a test.

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