February 17, 2011
By Staff Reporter
While the losing group, siblings Joseph and Donna McCaul, blamed (Eastern) bloc voting for their defeat, pop impresario Louis Walsh thinks that neither the singers, not the song, were “good enough.”
“The standard was very, very high . . . other countries are sending their biggest stars, with their best songwriters,” Walsh told news agency IrelandOnline. “We sent two amateurs, that is the real, real problem.”
The Man Who Gave the World Westlife and Boyzone knows what he’s talking about, since he was largely responsible for picking the McCauls in the first place. Walsh serves as a judge on the RTE show, “You’re a Star,” an “American Idol”-type contest in which hopefuls vie for the honor of representing the country in the multi-national sing off. But the talented Irish amateurs didn’t stand a chance when up against the other countries’ seasoned veterans.
Not that Louis blames the hapless McCauls. Although his obvious disappointment seems to be manifesting itself in doubled-up adjectives: i.e., “real, real,” and “very, very.” See for yourself . . .
“They did their very, very best,” said Louis, repetitively, but sadly. “But they weren’t good enough, and the song was not good enough.”
Understandably, the McCauls see things in a slightly different light. The brother and sister from Athlone, Co. Westmeath, who sang the rather ambiguously titled, “Love?” are convinced that the deck was stacked against them from the start.
“We just can’t beat this bloc voting,” said a disappointed Donna McCaul. “We went out there tonight and did our very best. We hope the people of Ireland are proud of us.”
For his part, her brother Joseph hopes the people of Ireland plan on buying some McCaul CDs in the future.
“This isn’t the end,” he vowed. “We intend on pursuing a singing career, and I hope the people in Ireland aren’t too disappointed.” (And I hope he didn’t mean that the way it sounded.)
Church’s halo slips a little
Welsh soprano (as opposed to HBO “Sopranos”) Charlotte Church has made major strides in her never-ending quest to ditch her wholesome image once and for all. The 19-year-old “Voice of an Angel” singer, whose romantic exploits have earned her a permanent spot on the front pages of Fleet Street tabloids, has been handed the Holy Grail of hard living, party-hearty street cred: Oasis bad boy Liam Gallagher thinks she’s cool.
“She could be the next [me],” conceded the legendary Mancunian hell-raiser. “She’s got a great voice. She knows how to get hammered, and she freaks people out.”
Predictably, Charlotte — whose last major achievement was being named “Rear of the Year” by a British department store chain — was extremely chuffed at Liam’s assessment of her charms.
“I’m flattered that Liam rates me,” she told IOL.com. “It’s a lot to live up to, but I’ll do my best. I’m only 19 and am having a lot of fun.”
In more Charlotte news, the singer has compared her new album, “Issues and Tissues,” to the bread spread Marmite. Which begs the question: huh?
“It’s like Marmite, people will either love it or hate it,” she gushed. Oh.
Briefings
The episode of “The Simpsons” featuring Liam Neeson as a trendy Catholic priest will air on Fox-TV over the summer. The show was yanked — um, make that rescheduled — in April, following the death of Pope John Paul II.
According to IOL.com, Liam’s character, Fr. Sean, makes unlikely converts out of Bart and Homer Simpson. The head of Springfield’s first family declares, “Catholics rule — We’ve got Boston, South America and the good part of Ireland!” Here’s a bold prediction: Ian Paisley will be calling series creator Matt Groenig to demand equal time for a rebuttal.
In more Liam news, the Ballymena-born actor is going to be everywhere you turn in the multiplex for the foreseeable future. In addition to his current role opposite Orlando Bloom in “Kingdom of Heaven,” Liam will play a villain in “Batman Begins,” which opens next month. He’s also slated to play Abraham Lincoln in a biography directed by Steven Spielberg, and will star in “Breakfast on Pluto,” directed by Neil Jordan.
Speaking of Orlando Bloom, the dreamy British actor has received quite a savaging from critics over his performance in “Kingdom of Heaven.” The Boston Globe measured Bloom against the current king of the swords and sandals epic – and found him wanting.
“[The movie] lacks a leading man with the stature to put it over,” wrote the reviewer. “Audiences know Russell Crowe. Russell Crowe is their friend. Orlando Bloom is no Russell Crowe.”
The London Times’s critic was much kinder to the country’s current pin-up hunk, calling Orlando “fabulously uncomplicated” and “effortlessly sexy.” Yeah, baby.
Whether Pierce Brosnan reprises the role of James Bond in the upcoming “Casino Royale,” or someone else steps into his shiny wingtips, there’s a good chance that he’ll be playing opposite a villain named Alice. But don’t expect any sexy shenanigans, a la former Bond bad girl Teri Hatcher. This Alice isn’t known for her — um, make that his — looks.
Original shock rocker Alice Cooper told IrelandOnline that he would like to add another credit to his acting resume by playing a bad guy in a Bond movie. He’s been lobbying producers to give him a part.
“I’d love to be a Bond villain,” he said. “I’d be perfect as I’m the consummate villain of rock and roll.”
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Actress Brittany Murphy confessed to being gobsmacked when Madonna showed up on the red carpet at the London premiere of her latest movie, “Sin City.” Brit told the assembled Brit reporters that the Material Girl is her idol.
“It’s probably the second time I’ve ever been star-struck in my life,” she gushed. [Hmmm . . . Could the first time have involved meeting ex-fianc