New & Noteworthy: Courtney desperate to be a housewife

Courtney, who has spent the past year sampling the delights of domesticity with her husband, actor David Arquette and baby daughter Coco Riley, is reportedly close to an agreement with the show’s producers. According to ananova.com, the raven-haired actress would play an escaped mental patient hiding out in Wisteria Lane. Though one might ask, how will viewers tell her character apart from the series regulars?

He’s got them on their knees . . .
Conventional wisdom has it that if you can remember the Sixties, you weren’t really there. But Cream rocker Eric Clapton will prove the exception to the rule when he spills his guts – for megabucks – in an authorized biography next year.
Despite his legendary bouts with alcohol and drugs, the Rock and Roll Hall of Famer not only lived through the turbulent decade, but lived to tell the tale. And he plans to tell it, warts and all. The story is being shopped to major publishing houses, and bidding’s already topped $6 million.
“He has a terrific recall and a very dry wit,” his agent told Ireland Online. “He will be very frank about his life.”

George Clooney might be one of the world’s biggest stars, but at heart he’s just a regular guy. Even though he lives in a palatial villa on Italy’s Lake Como with Max, his pot-bellied pig, the Hollywood hottie keeps it real – by refusing to sleep in the mansion’s enormous master bedroom.
“It’s too big,” George said recently. So when the actor says Good Night and Good Luck (coincidentally, the name of his upcoming movie), he does it from one of the guest rooms. After all, he’s got 14 to choose from.
While the southern-born star finds the villa a little overwhelming at times, he’s hardly suffering from buyer’s remorse. He told entertainment web site iol.ie, “It’s the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
Speaking of George’s life plan, it absolutely doesn’t include the pitter patter of little feet. And though many of would jump at the chance to change his mind, the 45-year-old hottie says that he has no plans “to replicate” himself. (Damn.)
George says that although he believes strongly in the importance of family, he has no desire to add any twigs tot he Clooney family tree.
“I always find that [parenthood]’s such a great responsibility,” he told contactmusic.com. “I thought it was something I couldn’t do half-arsed.”

Paul McCartney’s wife Heather Mills McCartney is taking no prisoners in her fight against the use of fur in fashion. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) activist, a former model herself, is taking on some of the world’s most famous mannequins for “selling their souls” to the fur trade.
In Heather’s crosshairs this week are a trio of supermodels: Cindy Crawford, Linda Evangelista and Naomi Campbell. In the 90s, all three doffed their kits for the group’s “I’d Rather Go Naked than Wear Fur.” But now, when – coincidentally – the public is not so eager to see them in the altogether, each has been spotted modeling for fur-friendly lines.
“Do they really need that cash?” Heather scolded on her web site, www.heathermillsmccartney.com. “Are they broke? Do they live in a shed?”
One supermodel who is hoping to avoid becoming a PETA target is Aussie Elle McPherson. The model took part in Blackglama fur’s “What Becomes a Legend Most?” campaign, but has instructed her agent to cancel all ads that have not already appeared.

Granted, Mariah Carey doesn’t wear much in terms of actual inches of clothing, and her chest is rarely obscured from sight and she minces around on four-inch stilettos. But that doesn’t mean she takes a casual view of the birds and the bees. No siree.
The “Emancipation of Mimi” singer says that she considers casual sex a big no-no.
“Some people use it to feel better about themselves,” she told contactmusic.com. “But in fact, it ruins lives. I’ve seen it for myself, and that is why I’ve never been comfortable with promiscuity.”
In more Mariah news, the singer may team up with veteran British rocker George Michael to record a duet. What’s amusing is that Michael – the former Wham! Singer who hasn’t been setting the charts afire lately – is the one playing hard to get.
“George doesn’t do many duets,” sniffed a source close to the singer. “[And] they’re usually with big legends like Elton John and Aretha Franklin.”
But happily, our little divette might just make the cut. “[George] loves Mariah’s work,” the insider told Ireland Online.

Even Jack Nicholson’s most rabid fans would have to concede that he’s something of an acquired taste. So it’s no surprise that the aging Don Juan recently had his romantic proposition thrown in his face by actress Anna Friel.
The 29-year-old British actress (whose IMDb.com profile proudly notes her Irish roots) quickly shot down the overtures from the 68-year-old “As Good As it Gets” star, when he visited her backstage during the Broadway run of “Closer.”
“He was really flirtatious,” she told Ireland Online. “I went, ‘Give over! . . . You’re old enough to be my granddad.'”

Sinead O’Connor has enough Radical Chic credentials for 10 rock stars, but the singer says that she has come to regret some of the statements she made in her youth.
Sinead, whose new album, “Throw Down Your Arms (That’s Why There’s Chocolate and Vanilla)” hits stores this week, says that she didn’t understand the situation when she threw her support behind the IRA in the early 1990s.
“I was very, very young and didn’t know what I was talking about,” reports BreakingNews.ie. Obviously, one has compassion and understanding of the circumstances that drive people to violence.”
Sinead says that, given her own life experiences, which included suffering physical abuse as a child, speaking out in favor of violence was wrong.
“Y’know, especially for someone like me who’d come from violence, to talk like that was bollocks.”

If you’re jetting anywhere this week, don’t be surprised if the flight staff seem just a tad disgruntled. Between the stripteasing stewardess featured in Michael Flatley’s “Celtic Tiger” show and the acerbic attendants portrayed in the hit movie, “Flightplan,” the profession has been taking a bit of a mauling in the arena of popular culture.
The group’s national union, the Association of Flight Attendants, has taken specific aim at the producers of the Jodie Foster thriller. In the film, the attendants are depicted as surly and unhelpful as Foster’s character searches desperately for her child.
“[They] were rude, condescending and portrayed as uncaring,” snarled AFA spokesperson Corey Caldwell in an interview with the Los Angeles Times. “There was eye-rolling, there was sarcasm . . . That’s not accurate.”
Of course, Disney, which produced the film, insists that they never intended to malign an entire group of workers. Particularly a group comprised of 80,000 sensitive members who’ve been on their feet all day and are just sick of passing out those &^%$# peanuts and wish you would just buy something and stop acting ike you’ve never seen the duty-free cart before. Oh, and one that’s just itching to call a boycott of the movie.
“We are confident the public will be able to discern the difference between fiction and the incredible job real-life flight attendants do on a daily basis,” said a spokesperson.

The latest entertainment legend to inspire a Broadway “Jukebox Musical” is the Man in Black, Johnny Cash. The deep-voiced country star, who died two years ago at the age of 71, is the subject of “Ring of Fire,” which is slated to hit Broadway early next year.
In more Cash news, a film biography, “Walk the Line,” will hit theaters later this year. The movie stars Joacquin Phoenix as Cash and Reese Witherspoon as his wife, June Carter Cash.

The IRA might have thrown down its arms, but the fight for Ireland is hardly over. Just ask battling exes Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger, who are locked in a fierce struggle over visitation rights with their daughter, Ireland.
The actors, whose stormy marriage ended in an even more acrimonious divorce in 2002, are back in court hammering out issues regarding access to the 9-year-old child. IOL.ie reports that Alec has filed legal papers alleging that Ireland “lives in a constant state of tension, wherein she must never display or divulge her true feelings for her father because of the mother’s all-consuming and bitter feelings” towards him.
In more Baldwin news, the eldest member of the acting dynasty is distraught over the devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina. Alec fell head over heels for the Big Easy in 1995, while on location filming “A Streetcar Named Desire.” And now he’s eager to help restore the city to its former glory.
“I’m gonna go do this relief work for Habitat for Humanity,” he said. “[It will be] cleanup relief work.”

Overrated, but still champs . . .
British radio station 6 Music conducted a poll to find out their readers’ picks for the most overrated rock albums of all time. Leading the pack at number one is Nirvana’s 1991 grunge classic, “Nevermind,” which spawned monster hits like “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, “Polly” and “Lithium.” Current MTV darlings Coldplay zoomed in at number two with their latest album, “X+Y”, while the Libertines’ self-titled debut grabbed the number three spot. Oasis’ “Definitely Maybe” barely edged out U2’s “Joshua Tree” for the number four position, while the rest of the list included Radiohead, The Beatles, The Beach Boys, The Sex Pistols and The Smiths.
In related pop/punk news, former Sex Pistol John Lydon – Johnny Rotten to those of you who used to wear safety pins through your cheeks – is hoping to convince teen heartthrob Justin Timberlake to play him in his upcoming movie bio. The problem is, the punk icon has trouble remembering the kid’s name.
“I’ve asked Jason Timberlake to do it,” Lydon told contactmusic.com. “He hasn’t said yes yet, but I think it would work because he’s a damn fine singer.” Yeah, like that would be the deal breaker . . .

Staying The Corrs
They say that the family that plays together stays together, but Andrea Corr would beg to disagree. The lead singer of the Irish pop act has revealed that years of constant togetherness nearly caused the singing siblings to split up.
“No one knows as well as family what buttons to press,” the singer told British magazine Night and Day. “An argument would turn into World War III.”
The Corrs managed to muddle through, thanks to strong family ties and a shared work ethic.
“All of us went along with the idea that we couldn’t let each other down,” she said.

Going by images from her new video, teen pop star Lindsay Lohan has a firm grasp of her Catholic roots. In “Confessions of a Broken Heart,” which depicts her real-life stormy family situation, Lindsay, her sister and the actress playing her mother are each shown clutching Rosary beads while emoting. This could revive a trend: the whole religious symbol-as-fashion accessory thing last reared its head during Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” phase.