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New & Noteworthy: Give us that ol’ time religion

February 16, 2011

By Staff Reporter

By Eileen Murphy

We may not be able to describe the sound of one hand clapping, but we can certainly put a finger on the sound of two gums flapping. Yes, you’ve guessed it: Sinead (Mother Bernadette Mary) O’Connor is at it again.

This time, the pop singer-turned-priest-turned-lesbian-returned-heterosexual has revealed that God — the Big Man upstairs — wants her "looking hot." Whatever happened to that ol’ time religion?

It seems that, in Sinead’s mind, God is "just like any other man [who] wanted to see me." She revealed this rather odd news to a reporter from U.S. magazine while she was in the States to promote her new album, "Faith and Courage."

"When I was ordained" — as a priest in the Latin Tridentine church — "I deliberately wore my best underwear and nice makeup and all that stuff," she said. In fact, making sure that Sinead looks hot was, in her opinion, "the reason God created lipstick."

It’s hard to figure out whether O’Connor actually believes all the things she says, or if they just pop out of her mouth without traveling anywhere near her brain first. And, of course, it makes one wonder if she’s deliberately rattling people’s cages to drum up publicity for the new album, especially since she’s not planning to tour behind it.

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Though she is, without a doubt, one of the greatest singers of her generation, she’s also been out of the mainstream music business for a decade. What better way to generate interest than to dip her toes into the "lesbian chic" trend while simultaneously tilting at religious windmills?

The one thing that rings false, though, is the rather shallow concept of God that she’s peddling. Does she really believe that God cares what someone looks like on the outside? We can just imagine what her sermons are like.

Ronan’s no quitter

Reports that Ronan Keating has quit as the manager of Son-of-Boyzone band Westlife are a load of bollocks, as they say in those Irish bars in the Bronx.

Of course, Ro wouldn’t put it quite so crudely. "That’s crap," he told Hot Press recently. "I don’t know where this came from, but it’s all rubbish.

"If the lads didn’t want me anymore, I’d walk away in the morning. I do it because I enjoy doing it," he said. So put that in your pipe and smoke it.

It’s not tea for two, at any rate

Oasis singer Liam Gallagher doesn’t seem particularly broken up by big bruv Noel’s decision to leave the popular band.

"I’d rather be me than him at the moment," he told Hot Press last week.

"Sitting in his house in Spain . . . very nice . . . you know what I mean?"

No, Liam. We’re afraid you’ll have to spell it out for us.

"I’d rather be working," he elucidated.

Of course, the younger Gallagher, who now, improbably, looks like the mature one in the family, acknowledges that there will be a period of adjustment as the band breaks in a new guitarist. But he insists that the group is worth the price of a concert ticket. Are you kids listening?

"It’s all about the songs, you know what I mean?" he said. But, he adds, if the fans don’t like the show, "they’ll get their money back." Big words, little man. Has anyone mentioned that to the promoters?

Meanwhile, Noel is getting a little fed up with Liam telling everyone that he (Noel) just wants to sit on his, er, brains in Spain.

"I don’t like the way people are saying that I want to spend more time at home," he said.

"If you ever tasted my wife’s tea, then you wouldn’t say that," he said, rather ungallantly, we thought. But then he lit into the younger Gallagher.

"At the moment, my brother is losing it," he told Hot Press. "It’s been me who has kept the band together." The decision to leave, he added, had "not been made lightly."

"It’s impossible for me to even be in the same room as him, let alone on the same stage," Noel said.

Be that as it may, the band’s manager has assured Irish fans that the brothers will reunite for the show at Dublin’s Lansdowne Road on July 8. We bet the roadies are demanding combat pay to go backstage.

Love is Blind

Theater lovers will have an opportunity this week to catch the New York premiere of "Love So Blind," at the Irish Arts Center, 553 West 51 St., NYC. The play, written by Dungarvan, Co. Waterford, native Jim Cullinane, is about a man blinded at sea and the complicated relationship he develops with a young boy who helps him.

The show will be performed by Waterford’s Kilgobinet Players. There will be three performances only — Thursday, July 6, through Saturday, July 8, at 8 p.m. For tickets and information, call the Irish Arts Center at 757-3318.

Briefings

He nearly got into a fistfight with Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs at last fall’s post-MTV Europe party to avenge her honor. Now, Boyzone star Shane Lynch and his pop singer wife, Easther Bennett, have split up. They’ve been trying to patch things up — she attended his sisters’ double wedding in Dublin last week — but we wouldn’t start shopping for any anniversary gifts for the duo, if you catch our drift.

We’re not sure if it was instinct (basic or otherwise) that prompted actress Sharon Stone to name her newly adopted baby boy "Roan." As those of you who spent time in the Gaeltacht already know, it’s the Irish word for "seal."

Speaking of brand-new babies with Irish names, we’d like to give a shout-out to little Ryan Kainalu Jacobi, who was born to our best buds Rob and Blasi Jacobi, on Wednesday, June 21, in Honolulu, Hawaii. (Like all babies, Ryan is doing his best to make sure Mom and Dad get plenty of rest.) The proud parents explained that Ryan is Irish for king, and Kainalu is Hawaiian for sea wave. Hang 10, your majesty!

Are you a music fan? Will you be in Ireland at the end of August? Then make plans to be in Meath on the 26th for the Slane 2000 concert, which promises to be a good’un. The lineup includes Bryan Adams, Macy Dray, Moby, Nenah Cherry and ex-Spice Girl Mel C (oh, go anyway!).

We hear that singer Andrea Corr has been offered a few million quid to star in a remake of the classic movie "The Four Feathers," opposite that cute British actor Jude Law (last seen in "The Talented Mr. Ripley.") Sure, this won’t be Andrea’s first screen appearance, at all, at all. Who could forget her memorable performance as the younger sister in "The Commitments," or the way she told a would-be suitor to go and . . . well, it rhymes with kite.

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