New & Noteworthy: Married to the yobs . . .

So here goes: “Sleepy Hollow” ingenue Christine Ricci told IrelandOnline.com that she can’t wait to get married to her boyfriend, “Saving Private Ryan” star Adam Goldbery. “Desperate Housewives” vixen Eva Longoria told Rolling Stone that she’s open to falling in love and having children, but she “just doesn’t want to get married.”
Rocketman Elton John has confirmed to London’s Daily Mirror that he is getting married, this time to longtime boyfriend David Furnish, “about the middle of December, probably in Windsor.”
And, to end on a Hibernian note, ex-Westlifer Brian McFadden told a British DJ that he and Aussie pop star Delta Goodrem are not — no really, not — engaged. “It isn’t true that I’ve proposed,” he said, according to the Mirror. “Maybe someday — but not yet.”
And lest you think that Brian’s denial denotes trouble in paradise, the hunky singer is full of praise for the woman who’s replaced Kerry Katona as his one and only,
“She’s one of those people, you just go, ‘I can’t believe you’re famous. You’re so nice.’ ”

Pierce-ing remarks
As the will-he-or-won’t-he debate still rages regarding Pierce Brosnan’s possible return to the role of James Bond, others in the cast of the super-successful series seem to have the inside track. Dame Judi Dench, who plays Bond’s boss, M, told the New York Post that she knew — for a fact — that Pierce would be back in the saddle, as it were, when filming on “Casino Royale” commences this year. So there.
In related Brosnalia, it appears that Pierce’s relationship with future “Desperate Housewives” star Teri Hatcher was less than cordial during the filming of “Tomorrow Never Dies” in 1997. It seems that Teri’s habitual lateness on the set inspired Pierce to let loose with some less-than-suave real-life dialogue.
Unaware that Hatcher was suffering from morning sickness during filming — she would give birth to daughter Emerson Rose later that year — Pierce’s frustration escalated as the wasted hours ticked by.
“I got very upset with her,” he recalled during an interview published in the Italian edition of Vanity Fair. “I must admit, I let slip a few words which weren’t very nice.”
Pierce later learned what was causing his costar to be indisposed, particularly during early cast calls.
“It came out one morning that Teri was pregnant and she hadn’t been feeling very well,” he said. “Still, these things happen.”
Among the things that were (rumored) to happen, the Daily Mirror reports that on-set sources whisper that the dark-haired actress got her own back. And with the back of her hand, no less: allegedly, during a heated scene, Teri purposely slapped Pierce a little — all right, a lot — harder than called for in the script.
Fast forward seven years, and instant karma — while, perhaps, no so instant — then seemed to come around and bite Pierce on the bum with a vengeance. He said that losing the biggest role of his career was “torture.”
“Losing Bond hurt me like mad,” he told the magazine. “It was a shock. It was unexpected . . . one bad day I had a telephone call. Dropped.”
Still, as Teri might say, these things happen.

Girls Aloud to keep their Irish up
It’s a safe bet that most of the guys who e-mail me requesting expanded coverage of Brit/Irish pop band Girls Aloud have never heard them warble a note — they just like to look at pictures of pretty girls in skimpy outfits. But for those of you who are interested in actual news about their actual, chart-topping career, it’s been reported that the Girls are denying rumors of a split. Specifically, the Irish Girl — Derry-born cutie Nadine Coyle — insists that she has no intention of leaving what she calls “the biggest girl band in the country.”
The group — who, like Westlife, Samantha Mumba and the late, lameneted Boyzone — are managed by Irish pop impresario Louis Walsh, are getting ready to release a new single next month. Their cover of Chris Isaak’s hit “Wicked Game” will no doubt make a strong showing on the British charts — really, the song’s so catchy it could be performed by barking dogs and still sell a million copies — and they have a tour and album in the works. Which means they, like, don’t even have time to split up.
“I have absolutely no intention of leaving the girls and going solo,” huffed Nadine in a note posted on the band’s official Web site. “The story was a load of rubbish and I didn’t even bother reading it.” Which kind of begs the question of how she knew what it said in the first place. But then, pop stars probably employ people to read the morning papers and translate them into words of, like, way fewer syllables.
Nadine’s bandmate, Cheryl Tweedy, also weighed in on the controversy, citing their relative longevity in the business — and steely determination to stay in the game. However Wicked it might be.
“Things are far from finishing for us,” she told Ananova.com. “Although we’ve been together for two-and-a-half years, we still feel like we’re beginning. There ain’t no stopping us.” Which means, look out, world: you’ve been warned.

In search of an Oasis
There are certain performers I probably would walk across hot coals to see: Bono, Paul McCartney, Bob Geldof, and um, Bono, to name a few. But when it comes to crazy fan-like devotion, the championship belt rightfully belongs to Gwyneth paltrow’s husband, Chris Martin.
The singer astonished fans by clambering up a stack of amplifiers in order to reach out and hug Noel Gallagher during a recent Coldplay concert in London. Unfortunately for Chris, going up was easier than going down. After exchanging pleasantries with the Oasis leader, he had to jump 15 feet down to the ground, because the amps had started shifting.
In more Oasis news, the band is ratcheting up their customary crankiness as the release date for their new album, “Don’t Believe the Truth,” draws near. Noel ranted to NME.com, “I [bad word] loathe videos. This is not the reason why I started a band, to stand on a video stage all day and mime a song 500 times, knowing that when you get to the end of the 499th, you’re thinking, ‘I don’t even [bad word] like this song anymore, it’s stupid.’ But it’s a necessary evil for me.”

Bono: Blame Canada!
In his unending quest to replace Bob Geldof and John Lennon as the pop star conscience of the western world, U2 singer Bono has issued a verbal smackdown to the Canadian prime minister. The contretemps — which I think is French for argument — is over the amount of aid our neighbors to the north are kicking in for the fight against poverty.
Apparently, the Canadian government has backed down from its pledge to dedicate 0.7 percent of its GDP to foreign aid. The problem seems to be that Paul Martin’s Liberal Party minority government is weathering a serious political scandal at the moment. As the party struggles to stay in power, the emphasis has shifted to a more domestic focus. But Bono feels that the Canadian politician must be held accountable.
“I really can’t believe that Paul Martin would want to hold up history,” he told CBC Radio last weekend. “We were looking for Canada to lead rather than be a laggard. What’s upsetting about this is it feels like business as usual.”
While the singer acknowledged that Martin’s government was facing a serious internal fight, he urged him to focus on the broader picture.
“This is no time to turn inward,” said Bono. “Don’t lose your focus, Prime Minister, on how history will remember this moment.”
In related Bono news, the Sunday Independent reports that by this time next year Bono will probably be adding another word to his already-long name. In other words, his mail would be most correctly addressed to Sir Bono Vox of O’Connell Street, Killiney, Co. Dublin, Ireland, Planet Earth, yadda, yadda, yadda.
The as-yet-unconfirmed-but-you-know-it’s-true rumor is that British Prime Minister Tony Blair will definitely put the Dublin singer on the New Year’s Honors List, which should earn him a sword-tapping from the Queen. Like Bob Geldof, though, Bono would only be an honorary “Sir,” since he’s Irish-born. But it’ll be interesting to note how few people will object to Bono accepting the knighthood, as opposed to the furor when Geldof accepted his after Live Aid. The times, they are a-changing.

Briefings
Van Morrison’s legions of fans — including all those brown-eyed girls — will finally have an internet place to call their own. The Belfast legend has launched his official Web site, www.vanmorrison.co.uk, which features previews of his upcoming album, “Magic Time.” Eventually, the digitally devout will be able to download mp3s from his extensive back catalogue, but for now, just go and revel in the officialness of it all.

The Los Angeles Times bestowed its coveted Book Award on “The Master,” a novel based on the life of Henry James, by Irish writer Colm Tobin. The Times judges lauded the book as “a compelling, richly rewarding and utterly original work of fiction about family and friendship and art in the Modern Age.”

For Sean Penn, it took the love of a good woman to help him get over his stormy marriage to the Queen of Pop. The Oscar-winning hothead . . . um, actor, who tied the knot with a bowler-hatted Madonna 20 years ago, told IrelandOnline that his current wife, actress Robin Wright Penn, forced him to look at the Material Girl in a sympathetic light.
“[Robin] told me, ‘Madonna’s very real, sensitive, and wants what we all want out of life,’ ” said Sean. “She was right: who doesn’t want a cone-shaped brassiere?” (Oh, all right, that last quote’s just made up. But I’ll bet you thought it, too.)