Category: Archive

New & Noteworthy: Paris and Kim to keep it ‘Simple’

February 17, 2011

By Staff Reporter

Kimberly will replace Nicole Ritchie (daughter of ’80s pop star Lionel) as Paris’s aide de camp in wreaking havoc on middle America, according to contactmusic.com. Nicole is moving on to her own “Newlyweds”-type show with her fiance, DJ AM, so expect plenty of hilarity to ensue as they audition bands, pick out briadesmaids’ dresses, etc. As the agents hammer out the details of the contract, Kim will no doubt wrack her pretty head trying to come up with a catch phrase to rival Paris’s signature utterance: You’re hot.

It’s generally accepted that, when it comes to acting, those who can, do, and those who can’t, teach. And those who can’t teach, well, they wind up in cinematic train wrecks like “Gigli.” But it seems that no one bothered to share this bit of info with Hollywood hunk Ben Affleck.
Given his recent string of box office flops, the hairier (one hopes) half of the late, great tabloid monster known as Bennifer might not appreciate the irony of his latest project. The Southie stud plans to give weekly acting lessons this summer, in an effort to “give something back” to other actors and the, um, world in general, according to contactmusic.com.
Ben, who hit the big time right out of the gate when he and Matt Damon won screenwriting Oscars for 1997’s “Good Will Hunting,” has had an uneven career over the last few years. The string of box office bombs which carried his name above the title is astonishing: “Pearl Harbor,” “Reindeer Games,” “Jersey Girl” and the holiday stinker “Surviving Christmas” raise the question of whether he, like, even bothers to read the scripts before signing his contracts.
In more Ben news, the actor’s reps are busy denying rumors that he recently tied the knot with Jennifer — er, “Alias” actress Jennifer Garner, that is. Apparently, the large tent erected in front of the actress’s mansion led to media speculation that a wedding was afoot. But apparently, it was just to accommodate a fancy party celebrating her 33rd birthday.

“Friends” star Courtney Cox is feeling decidedly unfriendly toward someone she thought was, well, a friend. And to prove it, she’s got a pack of lawyers poised to pounce if even one photo from her daughter’s christening makes it into print.
The actress and her husband, David Arquette, are spitting mad over the fact that someone who attended their recent, private, family event has been pedaling private, family pictures to the news wires. The baptism of the couple’s first child, Coco, was performed in Courtney’s hometown of Birmingham, Ala.
In addition to the baby’s godmother, actress Jennifer Aniston, only 11 other people attended the event, so it seems that the couple shouldn’t have too much trouble narrowing down the list of suspects. But while culprit can expect a verbal smackdown, the news services face far stricter penalties if they use one of the images. Cox and Arquette have threatened to sue anyone publishing the photos for copyright infringement.
Of course, there’s a bit of comic relief to the whole thing. According to the New York Daily News, the person who sent the images to the media outlets identified herself as Jennifer Aniston. Predictably, the actress’s public relations representative denied the story.
“The person who is sending them out pretending to be Jennifer is an imposter,” the flack huffed.

In related news, another Irish-American actor from South Boston is in the news this week. Mark Wahlberg, also known as rapper Marky Mark, also known as the original Calvin Klein underwear guy, told the IMDb.com that his childhood was tough. And it wasn’t fake tough, like Eminem’s “8 Mile” or Matt Damon and Ben Affleck’s “Good Will Hunting,” dude.
“My childhood wasn’t like some ‘8 Mile’ [bad word] where you go and have a rap-off . . . or ‘West Side Story’ where you all start dancing and [another bad word],” he snarled.
“If I make a film about my upbringing, it’s going to be about more than a [yet another bad word] kid doing math, like in ‘Good Will Hunting,’ you know what I mean?”

Those of us who’ve written off “EastEnders” ever since it was deep-sixed by BBC-America will now have a compelling reason to order it on pay-per-view. The stars are back in alignment — literally.
Excuse the effusive tone, but it’s hard to contain my excitement at the news that Ross Kemp and Letitia Dean, who played star-crossed lovers Grant Mitchell and Sharon Watts, are scheduled to return to the show this year. They will join Steve McFadden (Phil Mitchell) and Barbara Windsor (Peggy Mitchell) in Albert Square for the most dysfunctional family reunion since “A Very Brady Christmas.”
BBC bosses are ecstatic to have the whole gang back in Walford, according to the Daily Mail. An insider told the paper, “The Mitchell brothers go together like bacon and eggs. To have them back is pure TV gold.” Now, if only they could lure Susan Tully (Michelle Fowler) out of retirement . . .

Most actors love an audience — the bigger, the better. But New York-based star Ethan Hawke, who’s currently starring in a Broadway show, is a bit more selective than most.
The star of such films as “Before Sunset” and “Training Day” is worried that his former wife, Uma Thurman, will show up at the theater to see his performance in the upcoming revival of David Rabe’s “Hurlyburly.” It’s not that he’s worried about performing in front of his former spouse — after all, they costarred in the film “Gattaca” AND have two kids together. The problem is that his character in “Hurlyburly” spends a lot of time ranting and raving about his ex-wife. And, given their highly publicized split, if Uma were in the audience, that would make things, well, icky for everyone concerned.
“I would love to have her come,” Ethan told IrelandOnline. “[But] my character rants so much about his ex-wife that I think it would make the audience so uncomfortable — or at least the people sitting near her.”
After all, it’s not like the very glamorous star of “Kill Bill Vols. 1 and 2” could show up incognito.
“She’s so tall, and everybody would be looking at her,” he sighed. “Every night, sometimes when the house isn’t very responsive, that’s the first thing that goes through my mind.”

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The normally volatile Oasis crew was really ticked off to learn that pirated copies of their album “Don’t Believe the Truth” are being sold on eBay — a full month before the official May 16 release. The battling Gallagher brothers are in talks with their label, Sony, to bring the street date forward, while the music conglomerate is busy investigating the source of the leak. Since advance copies of CDs are watermarked these days, woe betide any reviewer who “lost track” of his or her copy. ‘Tis said Noel’s little brothers is a dab hand at the pugilistics.

Anyone who’s covered Sinead O’Connor’s career for more than five minutes could have predicted that her retirement from the music business would be short-lived. It was also a no-brainer that her vow to record only “sacred music” with Tibetan monks or whomever would also be subject to a little tweaking over time.
Sinead’s new project is an album of reggae music, featuring collaborations with a host of the genre’s biggest stars. The record should hit stores in June, marking her first release since 2003’s pithily titled, “She Who Dwells in the Secret Place of the Most High Shall Abide Under the Shadow of the Almighty.”
Also in the works is a compilation album, featuring Sinead’s duets with performers like Peter Gabriel and Bono. One can only hope that it includes her joint venture with occasional friend / occasional foe, Shane MacGowan, “Haunted by the Ghost.”

U2 fans will be happy to hear that the band’s breakthrough album, 1997’s “The Joshua Tree,” came in at No. 2 in a poll of the 100 greatest albums, compiled by Britain’s Channel 4 TV station. Top honors were taken by Radiohead’s masterpiece, “OK Computer,” with Nirvana’s “Nevermind,” Michael Jackson’s “Thriller,” and Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” rounding out the top five.

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