New & Noteworthy: Quote Unquote

Briefings
According to Britain’s Sunday Mirror, the new James Bond has been selected. The lucky winner is Scottish actor Dougray Scott, who beat out a field of hunks, including Eric Bana, Clive Owen, Hugh Jackman, and Jude Law, for the honor. The 38-year-old actor, whose rugged good looks recall the original Bond star, fellow Scot Sean Connery, will step into the wingtips vacated by the franchise’s most recent star, Irish hunk Pierce Brosnan.

His film “A Home at the End of the World” vanished from theater screens in the blink of an eye, but for Colin Farrell’s houseguests, it’s always showtime. And unlike paying audiences, they get to see the, er, uncut version of the movie.
Rumor has it that the Dublin actor entertains visitors by showing them the famously deleted scene in which he plies his craft — starkers. The scene, which caused an uproar with test audiences before the film was released, has reportedly gotten rave reviews with the pre-dinner crowd.

Madonna didn’t spend much time in Ireland before or after her headlining gig at Slane Castle last month, but it seems like a bit of the Old Sod rubbed off on her. When the Material Girl threw a birthday party for her husband, the British film director Guy Ritchie, last weekend, she made sure that there was good company, plenty of ale, and an Irish band to keep things lively. Her hubby was a happy Guy afterward, telling pals that it was “the best night out he’d had in ages.”

Call in the Irish Army Rangers
Welsh actress Catherine Zeta Jones had quite a scare last weekend when a gang of armed kidnappers tried to storm her limousine in Mexico. Luckily, the star was kept out of harm’s way — thanks to the quick action of her burly Irish bodyguard and his crack security squad.
Zeta-Jones’s physical safety is entrusted to Cork-born Paul Butler, who leads a team comprising former Irish Army Rangers, which is an elite commando unit. As the thugs tried to force the actress’s limo off the road, the team sprang into action, ramming the other vehicle. The would-be kidnappers sped off, but were later apprehended by Mexican police.
The actress, who was unhurt but seriously upset by the incident, has been in Mexico filming a sequel to “Zorro!” with Spanish heartthrob Antonio Banderas. And while she’s a menace with a sword on film, it’s a safe bet that she’ll be sticking close to her Irish minders for the duration of filming.

Surly — even for Oasis
Since any publicity is, arguably, good publicity, Oasis fans will be happy to know that their boys finished first in a recent internet poll conducted by British music magazine NME. What could be a bit of a buzz kill is the news that the band topped the list of the worst band of the summer.
The Gallagher brothers earned their title with a surly performance at Britain’s Glastonbury Festival, the biggest European music event of the season. According to NME, a whopping 42 percent of those polled were disappointed that neither Liam nor Noel could be arsed to say a few words to the crowd while onstage. Though, honestly, I would find that a plus.
Even Glastonbury founder Michael Eavis — an admitted Oasis fan — was underwhelmed by the group’s demeanor.
“I thought it was a good set,” he said carefully, “but the two of them looked a bit grumpy and didn’t talk to the audience at all. In that sense, I was a bit disappointed.”
In case you’re wondering, the “Hero of the Summer” award went to The Libertines’ Carl Barat, who kept things on an even keel despite the departure of the band’s other front man, Pete Doherty.

She’s no ‘Angel’
Teen soprano Charlotte Church is, like, so over her longstanding nickname, The Voice of an Angel. The Welsh star thinks that it’s high time journalists retired the old moniker, which is derived from the hit album she released when she was just 13 years old.
“I think it’s pathetic after all this time,” she sniffed during an interview with London’s Daily Mail.
“I saw a headline the other day saying, ‘Choice of an Angel,’ ” she said. “I just thought, ‘Can’t people do any better?'”
It’s a safe bet that the creative minds at Britain’s Fleet Street tabloids will be happy to oblige the temperamental teen. Hmmm . . . I wonder if they’ll find something that rhymes with “rich”?

Fashionably loud
Pop singer Christina Aguilera doesn’t believe in the words “fashion faux pas” — and it’s not just because she skipped high school French. The “Genie in a Bottle” singer with the Irish-American roots and the Drrrrty Girl rep says that it’s all about self expression.
“It’s like Van Gogh looking at a piece of his art and saying, “Oh, that’s an art faux pas,” she told Elle Girl. “It’s the same with fashion.”
Christina regards her habit of going out on a sartorial limb as type of public service. Well, sort of.
“Anyone who doesn’t agree with me, I’m opening their mind,” she laughed. “I’m pushing them to think outside the box they live in.”

But it’s cold in England
British actresses Martine McCutcheon and Denise Van Outen are practically clawing one another’s eyes out — for the chance to go starkers on the big screen.
Martine, best known for playing Tiffany on “EastEnders,” is desperate to star in the raunchy movie musical “Mrs. Henderson Presents” opposite British pop idol Will Young. Equally eager to get her kit off is TV presenter/stage star Denise, who starred as Roxie Hart in the Broadway production of “Chicago.” According to the Sun newspaper, producers are having a tough time deciding between the Betty-ish Van Outen and the Veronica-ish Martine.
“They are both very talented and want to be chosen,” said an insider. “They also have great bodies and aren’t afraid to show them off.” Well, as long as director Stephen Frears keeps the central heating cranked up on the set, that is.

Translation, please
Not content with being the newest member of Hollywood royalty, actress Scarlett Johansson could be looking to snag herself a real-life peer — or peerage. The 19-year-old star of “Lost in Translation” is said to be dating one Lord Frederick Windsor, an Eton-educated chap who is 28th in line to the British throne.
Lord Fred is the son of Princess Michael of Kent, who knows a little bit about things getting lost in translation, if her racist rant in an NYC restaurant is anything to go by. For those of you who don’t read the gossip columns regularly, Princess Michael recently suggested that a table of African-American patrons “go back to the colonies.”

Pogue Mahone redux
OK, everybody, it’s safe to break out the skinny ties and the hair gel and party like it’s . . . 1991. The Pogues and Shane MacGowan are back together, and they’re planning their first concert tour in 13 years.
There’s no news on U.S. dates yet, but those of you who’ll be in Ireland for the Christmas holidays can catch them at the Point Depot on Dec. 23. And maybe if you’re really, really good, Shane will sing “Fairytale of New York.”

Brian’s arresting presence
If Brian McFadden’s solo career doesn’t pan out, the former Westlifer has a bright future ahead of him — as a police officer.
The Irish singer found himself at the center of a real-life crime drama in London’s SoHo district last week. While strolling through the trendy shopping area, he heard a woman scream and saw a man run past him holding a handbag.
Realizing that he was witnessing a robbery, Brian immediately gave chase. The athletic star, who plays soccer and who dropped 42 pounds after leaving his old band, made a running tackle and brought the thief crashing to the ground.
“I ran after him and caught him at the end of the street,” Brian told the Daily Mirror. “I grabbed the bag.”
The singer tried to hold on to the bad guy until the police arrived, but lost the struggle.
“He clocked me on the side of the head and ran off,” he said.
The robbery victim, a German tourist, was both shaken up and star struck after the incident.
“She only spoke a little English, but she said, ‘You’re Brian from Westlife,’ ” he laughed.
“She kept saying she was a big fan, but to be honest, I was more worried about her being OK.” Well that and about her buying his new single.

Would he work with Woody? (Would he!)
Irish actor James Nesbitt has joined the long and prestigious list of actors who have a Woody Allen movie on their resumes.
Allen, the former boyfriend (and current son-in-law) of actress Mia Farrow, is currently filming his new project in London. In addition to the “Bloody Sunday” star, the other players include Cork-born Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and “Lost in Translation” star Scarlett Johansson.
An insider told the Sunday World that this could lead to a Hollywood career for the actor.
“If he plays it right, this could lead to other offers,” said the friend. “Some of the U.S. critics were very impressed with him in ‘Bloody Sunday,’ but being in a Woody Allen film will open him up to a new market.”

Blood is thicker than water . . .
The brothers Gallagher have been spending so much time smacking one another around the recording studio that they obviously haven’t had time to answer the phone. (Or maybe they’ve just pulled it out of the wall.) So, Noel, Liam, if you’re reading this: call your cousin Fintan. He’s making a
movie. And he wants you guys to write the score.
Now, we’re not talking about some little indie flick here. Fintan Cullen Gallagher is producing a $25 million movie based on the popular ballad “The Green Fields of France.” The script has been written, the production crew is in place, casting has begun — all they need now is someone to do the music. And Fintan kinda wants to keep it all in the family. Unfortunately, the Oasis kids are not part of a big, close family, and they’re not particularly close to Fintan’s branch of the family tree.
“We have been finding it difficult to get in touch with Liam and Noel,” Fin told Ireland Online’s entertainment Web site. “I only met the pair once and we chatted, but they hardly know me.”
Fintan said he thinks that, in addition to providing great music for the film, the Gallaghers’ involvement would pay other dividends.
“We would like to discuss the possibility of Noel . . . making a cameo appearance as it would give it the height of international flavor of Noel gets involved,” he said.
Fin thinks that the battling brothers might be drawn to the project “as it includes the UK and Ireland and they are of Irish descent.”

New York state of mind
It’s easy to understand why American tourists in Dublin might be experiencing a sense of d