In a chat between the two actors, published in the latest issue of Interview magazine, Brad shared his hard-won wisdom, which can be boiled down to four words: choose your targets wisely.
The “Ocean’s Twelve” star, who barely survived co-star George Clooney’s barrage of practical jokes and pranks during the filming of the movie, warned “Punk’d” star Kutcher to strike Gorgeous George off the list of potential victims for the MTV show. Like, really, dude.
“I remember two years ago you were after Clooney,” said Brad. “[And] I would tell you as your friend, ‘Don’t do it. Don’t ever go near it.’ “
Apparently, George’s temperament is such that if he were to fall victim to one of Ashton’s little pranks, like being shut out of his own movie premiere (Halle Berry), having his house repossessed (Justin Timberlake) or having his car towed from a valet parking lot (Tracey Morgan), he would be forced to retaliate. Big time.
“He’ll kill you and everything you love,” warned Brad. “I know it’s tempting, but don’t do it.”
The hunky Mr. Pitt knows whereof he speaks. On the last day of “O-12” filming, as he was getting set to drive home, George surprised Brad by running over to his car to give him a hug, and then slapping the car’s bumper. It was only after Brad arrived at his hotel that he discovered the sign Clooney had attached to his vehicle. Let’s just say it alleged that Brad wasn’t as, um, big a star as people thought . . .
Celebrity kids usually have a tough act to follow, but when your dad is known as a rock star, as a punk pioneer and — most embarrassingly — as Saint Bob, what are you gonna do? Well, if your name is Peaches Geldof, you set your sights on a career in dance music and hip-hop, of course.
The 16-year-old schoolgirl is determined to make her way in the music business when she’s through with her education. Until recently, she honed her skills at home and with her friends, but now that she’s of age, she’ll be able to go to bars as well. (Assuming that famously protective pop will allow that sort of carry-on.)
“I came to love [performing] and I think I developed a talent for it,” she told IrelandOnline. “When I leave school I plan to get a record deal, bring out an album and become a famous rap star.”
Remember when you were a teenager and would play your records over and over and over, really, really, really loudly, and your parents would bang on the wall and yell at you to turn that crap off? Well, vengeance may be the sole prerogative of the Lord, but, apparently, vindication is available for the rest of us. Specifically, for those of us who whiled away countless hours listening to the music of those melancholy Mancunians The Smiths.
The BBC reports that the band’s body of work will be the subject of a three-day academic symposium in their hometown of Manchester next weekend. Scores of serious music scholars will gather to ponder the deeper meaning of songs like “Girlfriend in a Coma,” “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now,” and my personal favorite, “That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore.”
Academics from around the world will attempt to evaluate the “enormous cultural significance and personal resonance” of the seminal Brit indie band, which was fronted by the sweetly morose Morrissey.
“They looked like nobody else and sounded like nobody else,” Dr. Justin O’Connor told the news service. “Their music had an emotional depth that moved people in a way that no band has managed before or since.”
Eighties icon Boy George credits his sister with saving his life after drugs, profligate living and changing musical tastes sent his pop career into a downward spiral.
Siobhan O’Dowd, or Shivs, as he calls her, stepped in to manage her brother’s finances when it seemed like he was on the brink of losing his fortune. The singer told the News of the World, “She’s been the really sensible one and managed money for me.”
Among the pieces of “sensible” advice that Siobhan gave him was to hold onto his house in North London.
“It was her insistence that I invested well,” he told the paper. “If she hadn’t helped me, I’d be skint. Shivs stopped me ending up in the gutter.”
George, who lives in New York City and does high-profile celebrity DJ gigs, has written a followup to his 1996 autobiography, “Take It Like a Man.” The new book, recently published in England, is called “Straight.”
Irish pop star Samantha Mumba is said to be furious with her father for starting a rumor that she’s pregnant. The 22-year-old singer, who recently split up with her boyfriend, American hip hop star Sisquo, not only denies the story “categorically,” but points out that she’s had no contact with her estranged parent “for over a year.”
The story hit the papers after Peter Mumba’s lawyers, defending their client on charges stemming from array of vehicular infractions, including drunk driving, told an English court that his reckless behavior was due to his unhappy mental state.
“Mr. Mumba recently found out that his daughter is pregnant,” the lawyer claimed. “[This] has caused him some upset.”
The judge, unmoved by Mumba’s excuse, sentenced him to four months in jail. And it’s a safe bet that Sam won’t be on the visitors’ list.
Super-intense actor Daniel Day Lewis is not known for his comic skills. But that won’t stop the Oscar-winning performer, currently starring in the film “The Ballad of Jack and Rose,” from fulfilling his longstanding ambition: to writing and starring in a comedy.
Daniel and his wife, screenwriter Rebecca Miller, have collaborated on a script, but, according to IrelandOnline, the pair are having trouble finding financial backers. Problem is, no one else finds the screenplay funny.
“We were the only people who laughed at the jokes,” Daniel admitted sheepishly. “For now it’s in a drawer at home.”
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Joel Schumacher is sick and tired of listening to people criticize Colin Farrell. The director, who gave the Irish actor his first big break by casting him as a soldier in 2000’s “Tigerland,” says that, basically, boys will be boys. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
“Farrell likes to smoke, drink and [date] women,” Schumacher told the New York Post’s Page Six column. “What young guy doesn’t?”
That’s a good point, of course. But the director’s next comment raised a few questions about his own perspective.
“At his age I put a needle in my arm three times a day,” he huffed. And it’s a safe bet he’s not a diabetic . . .
Another week, another bizarre rumor to debunk. (And yes, I know it’s usually myths that are debunked, but work with me here.) Listen up, people: “Four Weddings and a Funeral” star Andie McDowell is not — NOT — the illegitimate daughter of Charlie Chaplin.
Stop sputtering in your cornflakes, kids: she’s not his legitimate daughter, either. So far as Andie knows, she and the Little Tramp share no more than a general kinship in the human race.
The story seems to have originated in Mexico, much to the actress’s utter astonishment. She first heard the story from a friend who had traveled South of the Border.
“She went home to see her family and she found it in some little Mexican paper,” Andie told IrelandOnline. “I thought it was the craziest thing . . . so random and crazy.”
I know I’m not the only one jonesing for a Saw Doctors concert, since this was the first St. Patrick’s season in recent memory that didn’t include an American tour by the Tuam band. Good news, everyone: the guys, who’ve been holed up in the studio working on a new album, will cross the Atlantic for a coast-to-coast tour in May.
Dates and venues confirmed so far are:
Wednesday, May 11 Baltimore, Ramshead Live
Thursday, May 12 Sayreville, N.J., Starland Ballroom
Friday, May 13 Springfield, Mass., The Hippodrome
Saturday, May 14 New York City, B.B. King’s Blues Club
Monday, May 16 Phoenix, Marquee Theatre
Wednesday, May 18 Los Angeles, The Knitting Factory
Thursday, May 19 San Francisco, Bimbo’s 365 Club
Friday, May 20 Portland, Ore., Aladdin Theatre
Saturday, May 21 Seattle, Crocodile Cafe
Friday, May 27 Lebanon, N.H., Opera House
Saturday, May 28 East Durham, N.Y., Irish Festival
Sunday, May 29 Blakeslee, Pa., Jack Frost Celtic Festival
There was a bit of sad news coming from the Saw Doctors’ camp this week, as well. Tommy Carton, 79, the father of the band’s singer, Davy, passed away after suffering a heart attack last week. According to the Sunday World, the elder Carton and his wife, Mary, were immortalized in the band’s song “Joyce Country Ceili Band.”