Category: Archive

O(asis) Canada

February 16, 2011

By Staff Reporter

The Brit lovebirds, who are sort of the anti-Posh ‘n’ Becks (or maybe Ben and J-Lo without the, um, assets) are fed up to here — please note that we are holding a hand up around mid-neck — at being chased by the baying hounds of Fleet Street. Having decided that their best strategy is a total retreat, the couple are exploring their options. Sanctuaries on the short list include Ireland and Canada.
No fair asking what either country has done to deserve the presence of a Gallagher. At the risk of sounding biased, we must point out that while Ireland gave the world the Druids, great traditional music, “Lord of the Dance,” and Guinness, the best Canada could muster was hockey, Bryan Adams and Molson’s. (Although, according to “South Park,” they have already apologized for Bryan Adams.)
Anyway, the good people of Ireland can relax — for the moment. The tuneful twosome have revealed that Canada is now their first choice as a bolt-hole.
“I had my uncle looking for places for us to live in Toronto,” the Ontario-born Nicole threatened darkly. But she conceded that her sacred pop star duties — which include promoting her latest album (with sister Natalie) will keep her in England for the foreseeable future. But the press had better behave, or else.
“There’s always going to be [the option of emigrating],” she said. “It [could be either] Ireland or Canada — one of the two.”
You’ve been warned.

Other Articles You Might Like

Sign up to our Daily Newsletter

Click to access the login or register cheese