1. Believable plots
2. Subtle product placement
3. Adherence to the laws of gravity
4. Funny character names
5. Sex
If you guessed No. 5, give yourself a pat on the arse and continue reading. (The rest of you, go rent one of those godawful Timothy Dalton “Bonds” and leave us alone.)
Despite Bond’s hard-won reputation as a ladies’ man, the Navan-born Brosnan says that he — Bond, that is — needs to improve his technique to keep the franchise, shall we say, fresh. Which seems to mean that there will be less silly banter and more on-screen canoodling.
Pierce has one more “Bond” left in his contract, and has not committed to anything beyond that. We hear that producers are eager to sign him for another series, but he’s being coy.
For the record, Pierce has our full support to bare as much as he wants. And, on the bright side, this new approach to Bond could yield some amusing results. Imagine, if you will, the new spin on his job description, “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.” Or the hours of fun one could have renaming the classic films . . . you know, from “Dr. No” to, say, “Dr. Naughty.”