New and Noteworthy

By Eileen Murphy

Pierce, Keely finally ‘Bond’-ed

Good things come in threes, as we can see from the recent spate of Irish celebrity weddings: First Sharon Corr got hitched in Cratloe, then Colin Farrell jumped the broom in Hawaii, and now, Pierce Brosnan and Keely Shay Smith have finally exchanged “never say never agains.”

For the Hollywood golden couple, the road to the altar has had more surprise twists and turns than the plot of one of Pierce’s James Bond movies. The wedding had previously been postponed due to California floods and the near-fatal car crash of Brosnan’s son, Sean. But, in this case, it seems that familiarity bred commitment, so two kids and three wedding postponements later, the pair finally plighted their troth. Last Saturday, in Ballintubber Abbey, County Mayo, Keely became the ultimate Bond Girl.

On hand for the wedding of the suave Irish heartthrob and his TV reporter honey were Hollywood heavyweights Jack Nicholson, Robin Williams, Robert Carlyle, Dame Judi Dench and Sylvester Stallone, “Sex and the City” star Sarah Jessica Parker, former Bond girl Jane Seymour and music legend Bob Dylan. The reception was held at Ashford Castle, where guests partied under a giant white tent (or marquee, as the Irish call it).

We’d love to show you a picture of the happy couple, but Brosnan and Smith followed the lead of fellow celebs Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones, signing an exclusive deal with “Hello!” magazine for $1 million. Sure, it was be a little tacky – Pierce had to be smuggled in to the church in a leprechaun costume, and Keely came dressed as Laura Croft – but have you seen the price of wedding favors these days? We hear that the bride wore a simple Richard Tyler gown, that she looked stunning, and that the couple reportedly toasted one another with Guinness.

This just in: we hear that Pierce and Keely (is she now Shay-Smith-Brosnan?) were forced to cancel their honeymoon plans for the time being. Seems the nasty, nosy old press got hold of it and told everyone, and now everyone’s going to be following them around, saying congratulations and all that.

Hot Gigs — Get thee to the University

To see or not to see – heck, that won’t even be a question next weekend, when the New Jersey Shakespeare Festival’s production of “Hamlet” opens at Drew University in Madison, N.J. The play, directed by Tom Gilroy, stars Jared Harris as the title character, with his venerable father, Irish acting legend Richard Harris (via digital video), in the role of the Ghost, and acclaimed actress Lili Taylor as Ophelia. The show opens on Saturday, August 11, and runs through September 2. Performances are Tuesday-Saturday at 8 p.m., and Sunday at 2 p.m., plus additional shows. Don’t miss the opportunity to catch Shakespeare’s finest tragedy performed by a stellar cast. For a detailed schedule or to purchase tickets, call (973) 408-5600.

May the (g’l) force be with you

Couch potato alert! If you’re craving a little love, passion, jealousy, tragedy and triumph this week – and really, who isn’t? – forget watching the Yankees and tune in to WLIW-21 this Saturday night at 9 p.m. The PBS channel will present the exclusive premiere of “Gaelforce Dance,” a contemporary Irish dance show filmed before a live audience last St. Patrick’s Day at Waterfront Hall in Belfast. The show stars an international cast of 36 dancers, a vocalist and a quartet of musicians. We had a sneak peek at this hourlong show, and trust us, if you love Irish dance, you’ll want to have a blank tape for the VCR. P.S.: Rock fans will want to tune in to WLIW later that night, because at 11:10 p.m., the channel airs a repeat of “Pearl Jam: Touring Band 2000,” a live PJ concert from 2000. Hey, Eddie Vedder may not be Irish, but he’s a babe, right?

Luka blooms in New York

Fans of eclectic Irish singer/songwriter Luka Bloom are in luck this week, because he’ll be performing all around the tri-state area in support of his new album, “Keeper of the Flame.” Catch him on August 10, at noon, at the World Trade Center branch of Border Books. That night, he’ll perform at Irving Plaza, NYC, at 8 p.m. Bloom will perform in Philadelphia on August 11, in Boston on August 13 and 14, and in Boston on August 17. For information on venues and times, call (516) 5536-7572 e-mail maryemelia@aol.com.

Toibin’s “Revenge”

If you missed Niall Toibin’s sold-out – and all-too brief – standup tour a few months back, mark your calendars. The popular comedian and actor, who has delighted ausiences with his deliciously crusty “Father Mac” character on “Ballykisangel,” for the past five years, returns to the Irish Arts Center September 12-30, for another round of uproarious humor.

Toibin’s act will kick off the IAC’s Irish Comedy Festival, which will also showcase another of Ireland’s comedy treasures, “The Nualas.” Described as Ire;and’s answer to “Sex and the City,” (think Carrie, Charlotte and Samantha in horn-rimmed glasses), “The Nualas” have been called “phenomenaly funny” by the Irish Herald, while the Irish Times opines that the show is “a hilarious send-up of every sugar coated value we cherish – and you need to see it.” Far be it from us to argue with the Irish Times.

Showtimes for the Irish Comedy Festival will be Wednesday through Saturday evenings at 7 p.m., and Sunday matinees at 3 p.m. Tickets for all Niall Toibin shows are $35; tickets for The Nualas range from $25-35. It may seem far away, but a little birdy tells us that this will sell out fast, so stop by the box office at 553 West 51 St., NYC, or call (212) 581-4125.

Rep reprises “Irish”

One of the Irish Repertory Theater’s most popular shows started life as a loose collection of sketches and songs, put together by Pulitzer Prize-winning author Frank McCourt for the group’s annual benefit a few years ago. The irreverent but affectionate history of the Irish, filtered through McCourt’s wry wit, struck a chord that made the show something of a phenomenon. It played for months at the Rep and toured across the country, eventually spawning a home video, CD, and PBS special.

The Irish Repertory Theater will revive the show for a special limited run, from August 28-September 23. “The Irish . . .” will star Peter Cormican, Terry Donnelly, Bob Green, Mark Hartman, Donna Kane and Ciaran Sheehan, under the direction of Charlotte Moore. The Rep is located at 132 West 22 Street, NYC. For tickets and information, call (212) 727-2737.

Whither Westlife?

There’s a rumor circulating that Westlife’s Shane Filan is this close to signing a solo record deal with a British label. Shane, of course, insists that the stories are “complete bull[rhymes with split],” but sure, what else is he gonna say? Especially when he and the other lads are alone on the locker room, like.

Could this spell the death knell for the Irish boy band? Stay tuned.

I always feel like somebody’s watching me . . .

Now it can be told: Larry Mullen Jr. wishes you’d all just stop staring at him while he’s onstage. It’s distracting, like.

Well, he didn’t say he minds, exactly. But he finds it kind of, well, you know . . . Oh, let’s let him tell it.

“It’s an odd sensation when you have people in the front who can actually see you smiling or see you grimacing,” he told the British music magazine Q.

“Between songs people look at you, so I’m thinking when I’m holding the sticks, ‘Do I look bored? What sort of expression should I have on my face?'”

We can only speak for every woman who’s ever been to a U2 concert when we say that we don’t care what expression he wears on that handsome mug, or what he does with those sticks. He could stick’em up his nose, for all we care. As long as no one’s big, fat head gets in our way while he’s doing it.

By the way, all current and aspiring boy band members, take note: the secret to band longevity is simple, according to the planet’s best-looking drummer.

Joining U2 was “a bit like joining the priesthood or the Mob,” he revealed.

“The only way you get out is when you die or when somebody whacks you.” Westlife, are you listening?

Pierce, Keely finally ‘Bond’-ed

Good things come in threes, as we can see from the recent spate of Irish celebrity weddings: First Sharon Corr got hitched in Cratloe, then Colin Farrell jumped the broom in Hawaii, and now, Pierce Brosnan and Keely Shay Smith have finally exchanged “never say never agains.”

For the Hollywood golden couple, the road to the altar has had more surprise twists and turns than the plot of one of Pierce’s James Bond movies. The wedding had previously been postponed due to California floods and the near-fatal car crash of Brosnan’s son, Sean. But, in this case, it seems that familiarity bred commitment, so two kids and three wedding postponements later, the pair finally plighted their troth. Last Saturday, in Ballintubber Abbey, County Mayo, Keely became the ultimate Bond Girl.

On hand for the wedding of the suave Irish heartthrob and his TV reporter honey were Hollywood heavyweights Jack Nicholson, Robin Williams, Robert Carlyle, Dame Judi Dench and Sylvester Stallone, “Sex and the City” star Sarah Jessica Parker, former Bond girl Jane Seymour and music legend Bob Dylan. The reception was held at Ashford Castle, where guests partied under a giant white tent (or marquee, as the Irish call it).

We’d love to show you a picture of the happy couple, but Brosnan and Smith followed the lead of fellow celebs Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones, signing an exclusive deal with “Hello!” magazine for $1 million. Sure, it was be a little tacky – Pierce had to be smuggled in to the church in a leprechaun costume, and Keely came dressed as Laura Croft – but have you seen the price of wedding favors these days? We hear that the bride wore a simple Richard Tyler gown, that she looked stunning, and that the couple reportedly toasted one another with Guinness.

This just in: we hear that Pierce and Keely (is she now Shay-Smith-Brosnan?) were forced to cancel their honeymoon plans for the time being. Seems the nasty, nosy old press got hold of it and told everyone, and now everyone’s going to be following them around, saying congratulations and all that.

Boyzone becomes Warzone

Attention, hostesses of the world: do not – we repeat, DO NOT – invite Shane Lynch and Ronan Keating to the same cocktail party. The former Boyzone band mates are not – to put it politely – on speaking terms. Or, as Shane (he of the funny hair and shaven eyebrow) says, “‘I want to punch his lights out.”

Why all the animosity, you ask? Well, as we’ve told you before, the other Boyz are miffed that golden boy Ronan is busy carving out a solo career and refuses to join them on a Boyzone reunion tour. The other Boyz are not quite as, er, marketable as their handsome former front man, so their only chance of a big payday in the near future lies in a reunion tour. And, says Shane, Ronan promised. He promised.

“He said he was going to do a solo album then come back to do our tour,” Shane griped to the Sun newspaper.

“If we had known he wasn’t coming back we could have got on with our own lives,” he whined. “That’s why I’m [cheesed] off.”

The one thing that really burns Shane’s bum is all this talk about boy bands making big bucks in Ameri-kay. He feels that Boyzone – which also included Stephen Gately, Keith Duffy and Mikey Graham – punked out just as they were about to hit the jackpot. In his dreams, he’s haunted by the “Ka-ching!” of an imaginary cash register, ringing up the $1 million payday that fizzled before his very eyes.

“We’d have made it in America,” he moaned. “We’re Paddies, man.”

And just what does that have to do with anything, we hear you ask.

Tell’em, Shane.

“Americans love Paddies,” he explained. “The big bucks were going to roll in.

“That was my next house, in the Caribbean.”

Deprive a man of a shack on the beach, and he gets awfully bitter, it seems.

“I can see [Ronan’s] solo career taking a nosedive over the next few years,” sniffed Shane.

And in the meantime?

‘I just hope I never run into him again. I will put him down so hard,” huffed the former Boyzoner. Well, that’s always assuming that Shane can get past Ronan’s big burly bodyguards, his masseuse, his personal assistant, his kids’ nanny, his personal publicist, his agent, his manager . . . oh, you get the idea.

“One day the Devil will visit him,” Shane hissed. Given Ro’s schedule, the evil one had best have an appointment and be pitching a three-picture deal.

In the meantime, Ronan’s enjoying life as a successful solo artist. He’s got a brand new set of teeth, a brand new mansion, a brand new baby and a major record deal with U2’s label, Interscope, for his debut album. Maybe it’s the title of Ronan’s hit single that’s driving Shane so crazy . . . “Lovin’ Each Day.”

Liam’s Broadway bound

Arthur Miller can’t turn around these days without bumping into a hunky Irish actor. First Daniel Day Lewis (who’s not Irish, yes, we know, somebody please tell his Irish cookbook-writing sister Tamsyn and leave us alone, blah, blah, blah) married Miller’s daughter Rebecca and starred in the screen version of Miller’s play, “The Crucible.” Now Liam Neeson has announced that he will star in the stage revival of the show, opposite Laura Linney, at NYC’s Roundabout Theater.

The show will open in February for a 15-week run, so start setting up your speed dial now to dial for tickets. Neeson last appeared on Broadway in 1998, as Oscar Wilde in David Hare’s “The Judas Kiss.” Those of you with long memories will recall that Neeson met and fell in love with his wife, Natasha Richardson, when the two appeared in the Roundabout’s production of “Anna Christie.”

Shane’s ready for his close-up

Shane MacGowan fans who are dying for a glimpse of their idol will want to catch a documentary by Irish filmmaker Sarah Share. The film, “If I Should Fall from Grace,” chronicles MacGowan’s early days on London’s punk scene, his sudden rise to stardom with The Pogues, the band’s acrimonious breakup, his post-Pogues career and his love of Irish traditional music.

Share spent months with the singer in England and Ireland, and while it was probably very educational, we have to say, better her than us – the last journalist who got too close to the ex-Pogues frontman wound up trading punches with the cranky genius. But we’re getting off the subject.

Share told the Sunday World that she thinks that she’s captured Shane’s “great warmth and beauty” on film. But it wasn’t easy.

“It was hard work,” she said.

“You could ask him anything but you wouldn’t necessarily get a straight answer.

“I would hang around his house for hours waiting for him,” she recalled. “When I stopped trying to control him it started to work.”

One of the more interesting insights in the film is MacGowan’s bitterness towards one-time best bud, Irish singer Sinead O’Connor. Concerned about her pal’s drug use, O’Connor staged a one-woman intervention by reporting his addiction to the local police. Shane, as one can imagine, was underwhelmed.

“She seems to think she did whatever she did with the best intentions,” snarled MacGowan.

“But I don’t give a [bad word] what her intentions were.

“She had no right to. It’s my life. I’m a [very bad word] adult.”

We thinks he doth protest too much

We knew it. Michael Flatley’s final “Feet of Flames” performance, which the Sunday World has dubbed the dancer’s “last tango in Dallas,” may not be his last.

The dancer chose his words carefully when he announced that he would no longer tour with “FOF.”

“This is the end,” he told reporters. “I will never do another live show.”

Actually, it sounds like he’ll never do another touring show, but he might be coaxed into a special. Read on.

“There might be one-off performances for unusual situations, mostly for charity,” he conceded. But it will never be another situation like this.”

Flatley is satisfied that he’s stopping while he’s at his peak.

“I always promised myself that I would go out on top,” he said. “And this has been the best tour ever.”

But despite his protests, we don’t think Flatley will be able to resist the roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd, or the chance to wear those flashy black costumes with the sequined flames.

“Sunce I was a kid I’ve been a dance,” he said. “I’ll always be a dancer till the day I die.”